31 May 2023.

today i went to get some keys copied with my sister. it was a hot summer day, the sun was shining and the wind was soft. the sun was high, it was evening and we were biking. i hadn't done this with my sister in a long time. i felt like kids again.
we entered the store to grocery shop. she said "let’s do my fave activity. money laundering" and that made me laugh

30 May 2023.

first diary entry on this new website url! i made this new website because my last one felt too crowded and overwhelming and i was paranoid that my irls/siblings saw my laptop as i was working on my neocities, and i really want to stay anonymous so.. new website! fresh start.

so .. i did it. i deleted all my social media accounts.

i’ve never done this before. i’ve deactivated accounts, sure, or just plainly deleted the app. "just in case" i'd ever want to go back. i never realised how unhealthy that sounds until i deleted all my accounts for good.

it’s a big change for me though? i’ve had those accounts for years and years, and ive made friends on them whom i won’t be able to talk to again. i’ll miss them. i’ll miss seeing what they’re up to daily. i’ll miss seeing their posts everyday.

but it was too much for me. i was consuming too much content daily. i really do believe us humans aren’t built to know every detail of a persons life, every bad thing happening in the world. that constant exposure was doing me more bad than good.

so i decided to go old school and just only communicate by email? it’s more rigid, sure, and way different than twitter or instagram, but it’s also more relaxed.

i deleted them all last night, and i actually had time at night for myself? i could just indulge in hobbies i liked? i could consume healthily and create instead of doomscrolling? i’m especially happy tiktok is gone because that took up so much of my time.

i also don’t think it was healthy of me to be exposed to so many emotions of others daily. it took a toll on me, i didn’t know what i had to feel anymore and i felt too much. i thought about how people from the 70s or 60s must have less on their minds because they’re exposed to less. i want to worry only about my own stuff instead of everyone’s.

i only kept my private twitter account where i only follow my boyfriend, because he’s special to me and that app is more of an alternative to messaging instead of a social media. and it’s good. i feel so so good!

it’s weird though to not have a constant stream of content to consume, but it’s making me go out and search for my own content which in turn makes me curate and pick and choose instead of mindlessly devouring it all.

anyways, i learnt the existence of emulators like. a few days ago. and my little brother showed me today how to play gameboy games on my phone. i’ve never been more happy to know this was a thing. truly this is so amazing??

so i downloaded tamagotchi. look isn’t this cute?? this is my first time playing the game so can anyone help me?? he’s beautiful and i fed him enough food, yet he looks.. dissatisfied? what does this mean?? should i have him sleep or does he do that himself?? i’m lost and kind of emotional because if i hurt this baby i will die from the inside

also everyone!!! i once took this picture of someone’s website because it made me laugh really hard, but i forgot which website it’s from. anyone know it??? please email me if u do

okay that’s all! peace out!