"I'm meddling in someone else's love life when I have none." – Oh Han Byeol, Sh**ting Stars

november 1

hii guys.. like the new layout?? sorry that i havent updated my diary much.. i know we all know whats happening in palestine rn. israel is committing a genocide and the whole world govt is just watching. when is it enough? when will they give palestine their land and rights back? when will the senseless killing stop? when will the lying on media and propaganda and misinformation stop? im so anxious for the future. i pray everyday and i do my best irl to help. my heart is broken i hope every israeli supporter goes to hell. this all is just so inhumane.. 75 years and theyre still killing and stealing land and no one cares. its heartbreaking.
anyways

ive started the kdrama Sh**ting Stars and i love it SOOOO much!!! im only at ep3 but i get so excited to watch it. its just so silly and fun.. i love how much tae sung likes her hehe

ive finished Mr Queen and i rate it a strong 5 stars! it was soo enjoyable and heartfelt i loved it so much.. people hate the ending but IDGAF it was fun!!!

the weather has been insanely cold lately. like, i cant feel my fingers as i type this. besides that, ive got exams coming up and i am so so anxious huhu.. and there are soo many deadlines too but i dont even know i have them?? i just found out i have something to hand in two days like.. okay!

ugh i have soo much i wanna read.. i think im first going to start with the new horror book by Eric Larocca, "You've lost a lot of blood". my friend M recommended it to me after our trio (N and M and me) all read "Things have gotten worse since we last spoke" by the same author. horrifying read, 2 stars, but apparently his newer book is better? so M is forcing me to read it lolz.

i finished the manhwa jinx! well its still updating but now im up to date! i started reading "The summer Hikaru died"!!

does anyone use a youtube alternative site thats exactly like youtube without ads?? lately youtube has started putting 20seconds ads every half minute and its getting unbearable to the point i dont even use youtube anymore lol.. and i cant even use adblockers wtf! i also use it often to listen to music as i work but i wanna use a new site so please recommend me smth!

watched fnaf and i looove it!! it makes little me soo happy :3

i remember meeting my dearest friend Z when she was 20years old thinking shes so old and has to be mature, and now im realising how wrong i was. you'll always feel super young. you dont just morph from a teen into an adult. instead, an adult you grows like a plant next to your teen self, so yes, youll often feel like youre "still" 17 or "still" 25. isnt that wonderful? i love engaging in fandoms i was in when i was 12. i love making the 12year old in me happy. i love having fun and letting go for a bit. its harmless and so much fun! i hope ill never lose my childlike wonder and happiness.

ive been feeling better this past month! had a lot of revelations.. like how i like a quiet life with no drama. like how im okay with working hard now for a good future later. like how im okay now with not experiencing everything in favour of waiting. before, i was greedy. i wanted to travel somewhere? it had to happen NOW! i wanted a specific bag? i want it NOW or VERY SOON! i think i also was just very influenced by trends. everyone has this cute ghibli messenger bag, i need it too now now now!!!
but now im not like that anymore. i created a wishlist and instead ill just wait until i get it. there is no rush.
so yes im overall more relaxed and content with life and the little things. i dont need to have xyz to be happy, i can be happy now.

btw im still active and working on this website dw <3
thats all, until soon!

"Any moment might be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we're doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. We will never be here again" - Homer, The Illiad

november 25

IDK WHY IM SO BAD AT DIARIES IM SORRY i have so much to say but then i get too tired to type it up.. im just so lazy..

anyways how have u guys been?? its been super cold and rainy here lately and im also sick.. my nose keeps running and my throat hurts but its okay! ...

it was black friday yesterday and me and my school friends went to the mall after our classes. they bought pants, i didnt buy anything. i didnt need new pants, but when i saw them pick out nice ones i thought maybe i should buy it too.. but thats just peer pressure because i am the type to wear the same clothes for 5 years until i buy new ones.

when they asked me if i was gonna buy something i did lie and say "yeah but ill order online" .. oops..

the song im listening to right now is so heavenly!!!

december is coming up soon.. for now im very much in the november autumn aesthetic, as you can notice about this layout. but when winter comes im gonna have a darker layout.

my friend told my yesterday to start journalling again.. which is maybe a good idea because theres a lot i want to say but cant say because ppl i know know of this website..

im slowly using less and less social media! i only use twitter private for my friends, and instagram where i have a private account with only me for my photo dumps. im also using bereal.. but tbh its just fun to see what my friends are up to!

the new jujutsu kaisen episodes make me so so so sick. btw the song i put on here makes me have angsty imaginary scenarios in my head and one of them is of satosugu (geto x gojo).. they make me so sick.. theyre sooo angsty and ugh so tragic! i really like sukuna btw hes such a silly guy

do u guys know louie zong?? i love louie zong

someone said once that the art you consume and find pretty doesnt have to equal the art you like to draw. and im very stuck with that. ive been drawing for years but my art lacks fundamentals. or does it lack effort? sketch? creativity? what DO i want to draw? what story do i want to tell? do i want elaborate concept art? background studies? comics? etc..
so im going to find out what i want to draw.. do i even want to draw digitally?? also i never put effort into my drawings. 5 minutes at most and maybe i need to change that too.

some art i recently saw that i reaaally love!! click on img to go to the artist post. it opens in a new tab btw

im thinking about how i see so many amazing artists online and theyre all victims of algorithms because maybe i wont ever see them on my for you page again if i dont save them all? if i dont remember every platform they have? so i was thinking of making an online gallery on my site of artists i really like.. idk how to do that without the page loading for an eternity bc of all the pictures, but the idea is there! now i gotta find out how to execute it. also THE BANDWIDTH LMFAO bc to ensure theyre never deleted i wanna save them and host them from my own website but also. is that even legal.. idkkk

because like, bookmarking on twitter or insta isn't enough! it still gets lost in the endless things i bookmark! soo yeah

ALSOOOO YOOO do u know how ELEVATED over the moon etc i am to see so many satosugu art?? or jujutsu kaisen fanart in general?? i know many people think the story writing is bad especially in recent manga chapters but brother I DO NOT CAREEE. the characters and worldbuilding are insanely good and complex. the characters are so dynamic and its so great to see fanart about it AAAAAAAAAA. I LITERALLY JUMP IN JOY IN REAL LIFE WHEN I THINK ABOUT IT!! AND BITE MY FIST OUCHIE!!

ummm yeah anyways jolly days. happy days. is the text box too small to read properly?? im the type who needs a white background, brightness fully up and big text to be able to read comfortable LOL i promise im not dyslexic just.. weird.. so i always worry if my text is too small or if im just being me again

back in high school id have my face practically on the table when we did exams and the teachers kept telling me i look blind and then i started wondering if my eyes are weird. or maybe my eyes are just not well adjusted to this 21st century! bet theyre from the dinosaur age. theyd be very comfortable there

aaa guys i act so weird in real life. or peculiar. i say weird stuff or i talk weird or look weird. lololol. btw what is a good selfie pose?? selfie face?? i keep pursing my lips in certain ways because my cheeks hang and it makes me look like a tired grandma lol!

my first internship day at the hospital was a SUCCESS by the way! heard a lot of the gossip from the nurses :p sadly a patient had to get her eye amputated so that was intense..

i tweet a lot on my twitter priv because its easy but I HATE DOING IT!!! also twitter doesnt have an easy past archive function like tumblr does so your tweets are essentially lost forever.. so i wanna document them all. im copy pasting them all into my microblog yipppeee

okay thats all i think. lots of things i wanna update on my website. um i know my website maybe isnt the most visually interesting or technically complex but idk.. i like my simple tables and br ..

"Any moment might be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we're doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. We will never be here again" - Homer, The Illiad

thursday, november 30

hello gorgeous people. today i skipped class to go to my two friends, M and N. i wanted to wait in their uni but they have an elite uni and u need to scan your card to get in.. luckily i could get in! then N bought a grilled cheese sandwich (such pretty cover) and we talked for a bit. then we went to a nearby coffee place where N works so we got free coffee :p i got matcha vanilla with oat milk, hot. it was SO good!! after that we went to a bookstore, took some pictures, searched for books we didnt end up finding and that was it :)

i was very happy to be spending a full day with them!! theyre my best friends and i had so so much fun!!